MEMORIES are like the stray cats I used to feed. Always sitting by the gate or waiting in ambush from under the car. And I am the old rat, always caught unaware. I admit, these sly feline-like memories leave one a bit woozy sometimes, especially whenever one’s guard is down.
At times, before one drifts off to sleep, instead of sheep to be counted, they come dancing on my mind’s stage as though it’s show time. Us aging rats, we remember it may have been different long time ago during the early years, when they just simply had no chance at distracting our pubescent minds.
While for still-active competitors in the rat race, this mushy thing called sentimentality, defined by Wiki as “that shallow, uncomplicated emotion at the expense of reason,” never really has any chance at success. For older people, it’s a deadly sniper lying in wait.
For the young, as they rush about their day-to-day with nary a care in the world, sentimentality is just laughable. Looking back now, that precisely might have been one of the follies of our youth, not looking back, ignoring a little pause at times. But not to be too harsh, surely there were few and far in between tender times we might have recollections. Just too embarrassed to admit it.
In the old days, school retreats, usually held during Holy Week or near graduations, might perhaps be a few of them. However, as many can relate, these were imposed activities and unpopular unlike these spontaneous sniping by cat-like memories preying on unsuspecting old geezers.
I’ve an old friend from college who now lives in Germany. With both sons already living separate lives, the divorcee in her had for a while, thought she’d find peace living alone. Then, when her mom passed away here, her only reason to visit was gone forever and she found that memories proved to be sad companions.
So now, she never fails to hit the road whenever she can. I’d not even be surprised if she booked a flight to the moon. I once asked, what happens when loneliness and old memories come in the night? They only stay a few hours, she had said. And that’s one source of inspiration right there.
I guess in the end, we take in what we can and live with that. Like her, I wish to eventually move in with both these feline memories, and what’s left of my demons. A guy on IG just explained it so clearly. Life is nothing but an hourglass. You cannot do any thing about the sand already at the bottom. It is the past. Neither can you control the portion still at the top. It is the future. The ones at the middle, as they slowly fall, is your present. Though fleeting, it is for you to enjoy while they last.
While it may be too late to turn hedonistic now, seize the day might as well be it for me. I’ve already gone way beyond eat, drink and be merry… Tomorrow is another day.
