BY RUTH SITCHON MORALES
MOTHER’S Day is often painted in bright colors, flowers, tributes, and stories of selfless love. We celebrate the ideal mother: nurturing, patient, and endlessly giving. Yet reality is more complex. Some of us grew up with mothers who were absent, harsh, or who left wounds instead of comfort. To honor them may feel undeserved. But perhaps Mother’s Day is not only about celebrating perfection. Perhaps it is about choosing grace.
The Bible commands us: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). Notice that the command does not come with conditions. It does not say, “Honor your mother if she was kind,” or “Honor her if she never failed.” It simply says: honor. That is a hard word for those who carry pain, but it is also a liberating one.
Imperfect mothers, imperfect people
No mother is flawless. Even in her kindness, I saw imperfections in my own mother, and I know my children see them in me, too. Some mothers carry the weight of poverty, illness, or broken relationships. Others have made choices that left deep wounds in their children’s lives. Imperfection is woven into our humanity. To recognize this truth is to see mothers not as saints or villains, but as human beings: fragile, complex, and in need of grace.
Honor beyond merit
To honor does not mean excusing wrongs or denying pain. It means acknowledging the gift of life our mothers gave us and respecting the role they played, however broken. I know this is easier said than done, yet the Lord’s command is clear: “Honor your father and mother”, the first commandment with a promise. A colleague shared that his relationship with his mother was strained, and it was difficult for him to speak about it. Still, he chooses to honor her by sending financial support and showing affection from afar. He does so not because it is easy, but because he upholds God’s command. Honoring is not about merit; it is about grace, obedience, and valuing the Lord’s word.
Grace as Healing
Forgiveness and honor are gifts we give not only to our mothers, but to ourselves. “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). Extending honor can free us from bitterness and open the door to reconciliation. Even when reconciliation is not possible, honoring can bring peace to our own hearts.
A Filipino lens
In our culture, utang na loob (a debt of gratitude) is deeply valued. Honoring “undeserving” mothers may feel countercultural, yet it reflects a higher principle: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). To honor is to choose grace over judgment, dignity over shame, and love over resentment.
Choosing grace this Mother’s Day
To honor “undeserving” mothers is not to romanticize their shortcomings. It is to walk a higher path, the path of grace that looks beyond failure and acknowledges the gift of life they gave. This Mother’s Day, let us remember that honor is not rooted in merit, but in grace, the undeserved gift freely given by God. And in extending that grace, we uncover a love that redeems even the most broken stories.
An invitation to honor
May I invite you to join me in honoring all mothers through a prayer of gratitude and grace?
Heavenly Father, we lift up all mothers before You today. For those who have loved well, we give thanks. For those who have struggled, failed, or fallen short, we ask for mercy and healing. Teach us to honor them, not because they are perfect, but because Your Word calls us to love with grace. May forgiveness flow where there is pain, and may hope rise where there is brokenness. Bless every mother with strength, peace, and the assurance of Your unfailing love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
