WHENEVER I detect a hint of hesitation brought about by stress in my young son, I always assure him, in not-so-many words, never forget that getting things done is a step-by-step process, and how far you have gone at the moment is more important than the intended goal.
Oftentimes, we look at the finish line and right away worry about how far it is and how difficult it is to get there. Just imagine, all this hesitation happening while still at the starting line! So, I gently remind him, don’t ever feel rushed.
How can I forget his pre-school teacher, the late Detty, who decades ago, would always call out to him and his classmates as leave the room after class, “ang nagmamadali, nagkakamali (those who rush, make mistakes).”
Breaking from the hypothetical and the motherhood vagueness of it all, I would just continue on to say blandly, just take the first step in all that you do, and don’t be afraid to start. Unlike in the sports of track and swimming, there are no false starts in life.
Once I heard of a famous tennis player who had a tattoo in his forearm which read: fall back seven, rise up eight. (of course, that’s where I’d draw the line, excuse the pun, and say, I don’t mean you do the same, getting a tat, that is.)
Another stress trigger (I sense in the guy) seems to be equating progress with that of those around us. The reality is, when one seeks to quantify success (such as reaching a goal) and uses the limited measure of how far one has gone, that leads to disappointments. It’s just unfortunate that we were educated that way.
Just as the Desiderata has implied, only one thing is certain in the world: there will always be someone who will have gone farther than you and is better than you. As such, not comparing yourself with others and emerging from that race that eats at you inside your head, is sound advice.
Finally, I would just like to tell my son, just breathe because, after all, only you are your own best enemy. Take everything else in stride and just strive first to find your own groove.
“If a man does not keep in step with his companions, it may be because he hears a different drummer. Let him listen to the music he hears, no matter how distant or far away.”
– Distant Drummer, by Henry David Thoreau
