THERE is this piece of gentle advice I received from a teacher and friend a long time ago for problematic people (like I was) who stand at the crossroads not knowing where to go. She had said, never forget to first be thankful. Despite all we are going through at any given moment, always retrace your steps up to how you have gotten to where you are now, and remember, we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
Back then, I knew I started out like that. Starting from grade one up to grade six, I was always thankful for each year, when I moved on to the next level. It might appear silly now, but back then, I always muttered to myself, “Thank God I’m now in grade two… grade three and so forth.”
However, this almost-traditional exercise sadly stayed only up till high school. Adolescence and the distraction of other interests eventually crept in, thus my little ritual got lost along the way. Additionally, it’s sometimes during these uncertain years of adolescence, when one realizes the world’s not really all about you, and that pretty soon, you’re going to have to make it on your own. With all these going around, it’s harder to focus, much less to appreciate where you are and be thankful.
Turning the corner into adulthood, a continuous mishmash of struggles and accomplishments (plus more trials and struggles) eventually begins to define us. It’s only then we become aware that this stance of looking forward too much makes us look back less at how we got to where we are and be thankful for that.
Looking around me gets everything back in focus. In my two sons, nephews and nieces, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, all by my siblings, plus all the family cousins, I have seen endless development… from unsteady little children to confident individuals.
Although not privy to the personal battles of each, we are at least confident that, somehow, each one had been resilient enough to hold out and win through. For one thing, none of us would have reached where we are at present without being resilient enough to overcome earlier struggles throughout all those years.
So, back to those close to being empty at fighting and standing at some crossroads, patiently look back if you will, and review all that has gotten you to the present, or if need be, thank God for reaching grade one to grade two and so forth. Even when it appears you’re at the final straw, just wait a while longer.
Lastly, let’s hear it from the pros. Mental health practitioners insist resilience is actually a skillset that can be developed through repeated rebounds from life’s trials. The trick is to think back on your past triumphs over problems, then slowly build up from there. Even as struggles may appear to be without end, life nevertheless continues, and you with it. The Desiderata says it succinctly,
“…And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”
