SOMETIMES I wish Ho-hum could describe what being 71 feels like. Contrary to what many would expect, the ‘been-there-done-that’ feeling is notably non-existent, even though during some trying times of insecurity and you are whistling in the dark, that wraps you up like a shield to protect against whatever is going on around you.
A few whom I know to be my secret idols would agree, it’s mostly quiet acceptance from here onward.
Once, in this plane or game level of life, there is no more distinction between words left unsaid and those not meant to be uttered.
They do not matter anymore once you’ve gone past the outcome. In fact, both get the same treatment, easily mended by “it is what it is” and the all-time balm, “I’m sorry.”
It’s worthwhile to think, however, once one has reached a certain plateau, the words one has failed to tell another, like I love you, and those you’ve flat out spoken in either anger or ignorance, both occupy a special shelf in your mind where you cram things you believe are not relevant anymore but still look back on from time to time.
They remain there, like a fire alarm on the wall, enclosed in fragile glass, with the instructions that read break in case you need them to check your bearings.
Not getting any of this? It’s all good. It’s streams of consciousness hurriedly jotted down after roused from deep sleep by the barking neighbor’s dogs, minutes after midnight, your 71st birthday.
In a nutshell, the acceptance posturing of “It is what it is” runs quite deep. In one example, there’s truth in the observation that as one goes through life, one’s circle gets smaller, because everyone constantly whittles away at those who consider you not to be part of their own circle and more important, others whom you personally consider as “vexations to the spirit,” or those the Desiderata refers to as loud and aggressive people.
In mod terms, we’ve now the choice of finally ghosting the toxic ones who have managed to live rent-free inside our head.
In turn, what do we care about those who ghost us? No harm, no foul. Just continue on. In itself, this is but a piece of gentle advice I’d love to tell my friend who gets worried about how others see her.
Accept everything as a piece of rock would, just lay there under the stream flowing around you. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.
