Let’s hear it from a rehabilitated grouch, being happy for others is actually the easiest thing to do. Oftentimes on the day-to-day, we become so obsessed with just looking out for things that please us. As narcissists tritely put it, things that make us feel ’complete’. Even as many insist it is only natural to look out for yourself, it’s actually this kind of introspection which can also deaden whatever empathy we can have for those around us, if we don’t watch out.
On a scale of one to three, reserving two for yourself and one for the next person, try to notice how different is the satisfaction you feel when you cause happiness in that other. Perhaps the simplest example of this is when you hand a small child a toy or sweets. Nothing beats that feeling of seeing them smile genuinely in the type of satisfaction only pure innocence can render. I once handed a dinosaur toy doll to one of our great-grandies who has not yet felt close to me. As soon as she opened the gift, she immediately ran through the crowd of family members and hugging the toy, she beamed at me, exclaiming, “thank you so much for this toy!“ I have broken through the ice and we’re now in open waters.
During one weekend, the three of us (big family) were at a fun run event and while there, we bought a buy-one-take-one box of energy bars. After the event, we proceeded to King Chow for a late breakfast and right near the entrance, there sat a pale, disheveled person with a plastic cup in one hand. I took out two bars from one of the boxes and handed it to the old man. The instant smile I got in return said it all. At this, i say, leave out negative thoughts like, this is how mendicancy starts, or handing dole-outs is a ‘plastic’ gesture. The truth is, effecting happiness in others also causes a very positive feel in you.
On another note, if one hasn’t noticed it yet, sour-graping in socmed has become as common as the selfie. Fact is, these are closely-related. One only has to read through random comments in people’s threads to see how commonly this has become. This type of schadenfreude, feeling happy at other people’s failures, while being under the surface for so long, has sprung forth as though in triumph, with the advent of social media. Because of this, a cloud of doubt has begun to hover over every innocent-sounding ‘like’ or ‘love’ and inevitably, it will bring one to ask, how sincere are these affectations?
Accept it or not, it’s only ourselves who know how real we truly are underneath, especially without the filters we use when dealing with people. As such, why not stop the hate for a change and be genuinely happy for others even for just a weekend? I’d imagine better things will snowball from there.
